just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
