i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
