that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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