how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
