Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
