i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
