No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
