If i come over, it means nothing
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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