I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
