you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
