i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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