So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
