life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize