Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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