Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
