I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I came so hard my ears popped.
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