i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
