I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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