Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
