Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
