Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize