She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
