he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
