Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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