umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I intend to get homeless drunk
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
