People in love make me want to vomit
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
