so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize