You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
