He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
