hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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