How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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