69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
