You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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