Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
