My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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