Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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