I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
