she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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