So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
