you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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