He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
