dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
