FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
