why didn't you poke me back
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
