please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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