i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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