He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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