She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize