i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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