love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
