Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
