I hope mine doesn't look like that
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
