let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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