I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
