i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
