Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
