You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize