Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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